So yeah, we’re working the birthday party circuit. It’s an elite party scene that I didn’t even know existed until this year. Who knew that parents everywhere were throwing elaborate birthday parties where the entire class of 25 is invited? And things have changed quite a bit from when I was a kid. No one would think to have the party at their actual home, and quite frankly who can blame them. Twenty-five four year old’s in one house, no thank you.

We’re hitting them up. Monkey Joe’s, Little Gym, Incredible Pizza, you know, all the hot spots. Sometimes two in a weekend. We’re making our rounds, painting the town. My son turns 4 in February. As a MIM, I’m toying with the idea of going retro, going rogue! Dare I throw the party at our home? With games, cake, and ice cream. Would kids even know what to do?

She said, “Oh, it’s dark outside, it’s too late.”

To which I replied, “No, it is just dark earlier. You’ll be home in time for bed.”

Then she said, “But then I can’t see you.”

To which I replied, “It’s okay, I will carry you in the parking lot and there will be lights.”

But yet she persisted, “But we can’t go to Target. I need to cuddle with you. And also have my shoes off for a long time.”

To which I replied….

“You’re right.”

It’s the week to give thanks. And thank you to my three-year-old for reminding me to reserve time in my day, just for cuddling.

In stocking feet.

Sounds like a dream, right? What was I to do with the extra 40 hours per week that would now be complete free-time? I’ll tell you exactly what I did, I filled those hours with more stuff. I went running everyday, I baked cookies with my boys, made a lasagna from scratch for dinner one night, ran countless overdue errands. Yes! This was the life. Or was it?

By the end of the week I was just as exhausted as I had been while working full time. So now I am going to make a conscious effort to not make myself so busy, and let some things go undone. Just because I’m not working full time, does not mean that I have to cook elaborate from scratch dinners every night, or have a craft project for my kids everyday when they get home from school. In one week, I am going to Italy for 10 days. Hopefully the simple and relaxing lifestyle of the Italian culture will rub off on me, and show this MIM that it’s ok to slow down.

#5 Bubblewrap (Free)

Yes. Bubblewrap. Why are the simplest ideas always the most obvious? This is one app that never gets old, and has them saying, “Again! Again!”

#4 PhonyPhone ($0.99)

A clever invention, give them an app that looks like a phone. (We all know that’s what they really want to play with.) This is a great app, don’t get me wrong, but even my 2-year old knows that the button at the bottom of the iPhone takes him back to the main screen. So as he grows bored with the numbers and dialing, he’s right back re-organizing my home screen.

#3 Preschool Adventure ($0.99)

This app has 6 different sections to pick from: colors, numbers, shapes, body, matching and sounds. Although it’s geared more towards my pre-schooler, it’s my 2-year old that really enjoys it. It has a simple interface of tapping pictures to hear their name and a little bit of motion.

#2 Dora and the Crystal Kingdom ($1.99)

With two boys, I was really looking for a Diego app when I came across this one. What can I say, branded material works. The kids love this one. Not only does Dora tell you a bit of a story, there is a coloring book feature and a fun motion game.

#1 Ballonimals ($1.99)

This app is so cool that I’ve shown it to a lot of adults. What else would you expect from Ideo. The video shows it all. You actually blow into the phone to inflate the balloon, shake it to make the animal, tap to interact with your creature AND pop it! With many different animals to make, this one never gets old.

I don’t think there is a bigger struggle for a mom returning to work than SLEEP. You want it. You can’t have it. You are a baby-cereal-covered zombie dialing in for a conference call on your stapler, and it’s time for something to change.

You’ve heard about letting the baby ‘cry it out.’ I couldn’t do it. Here are the seven steps I followed, with great success.

1. Know why the baby wakes up

When a baby wakes in the middle of the night to nurse, he is most likely not searching for food but instead closeness and bonding. The baby sees the momma and wants that closeness, even if he isn’t hungry.

2. Break the habit in stages – Start on a Thursday

This process begins on a Thursday night because it will be a tough night, and it is important to have at least three consecutive nights to get a good start.

3. First, Dad puts the baby to bed

Mom leaves the house an hour before the baby goes to sleep. The baby gets the message from dad, ‘It’s just you and me, kid!’ This happens for a couple nights.

4. Second, No nursing from Mom

After the baby is asleep, dad is the only one to go in and see the baby when he awakes. He can hug, cuddle and even offer a bottle a few times. The only thing off limits is mom, until morning. Step 3 and 4 happen simultaneously.

5. Now, only one bottle in the middle of the night

So, you hopefully have had some success where the baby is decreasing night wakings, finding them unsuccessful (i.e. no mom).  We allowed one bottle for a couple nights, typically around 4 am.

6. Push back the night waking time, one hour at a time

Now you gotta get rid of the 4 am feeding. Here is where a little crying comes in but it is very ‘kind’ and doesn’t break your heart like true CRYING IT OUT.

Here’s how this stage works: For example, he wakes at 2 am, Dad goes in and pats him but doesn’t pick him up. He’ll probably get furious when dad  leaves the room. Dad waits 5 minutes, goes back in and pats him and leaves the room again. The KEY is every time it was the same thing: Dad comes in, pats three times, says “time for bed” and then walks out.
This way it doesn’t become a form of entertainment for the baby. It is predictable and boring. DO NOT PICK THE BABY UP! If the baby is standing in the crib, go ahead and lay the baby back down, pat three times and say “time for bed.”

This can continue for an hour… You can also increase the time from 5 minutes to 7 minutes between pats. At the end of an hour, that’s enough crying. Dad would usually feed the baby a bottle, pick the baby up and then rock a little bit then put back into bed.

7. Welcome to 6 am, MOM!

Now the baby is awake at 6 am. MOM feeds the baby to signal, “YES, this is the time that we can get up.” Then MOM has to stay awake with the baby. Resist the urge to just put the baby back to sleep. This is the training to the baby so they understand what you view as the correct waking hours. Yes, it’s early and tough, but it’s better than night wakings.

Aside: Honestly I got to the point where I enjoyed the bleary-eyed 6 am wake up call… before the rest of the world woke up, before I had to become my work self…. as a pure and simple time. It was just me and baby. Still dark outside with just a whisper of pink sunrise coming through the blinds, and only her gurgles to break the silence. We’d be sitting on the floor of her room – she’d be exploring board books while I watched her, thinking, Yep, kiddo, we’ll figure this thing out together.

Special thanks to Nancy Birkenmeier of the St. Luke’s Sleep Clinic, the sleep angel!

The most recent drive has been a put-a-piece-of-your-kid’s-artwork-on-something sale. Seriously, you can put it on anything. It goes way beyond a tote bag or mouse pad to include yard flags for $25 and ceramic soap dispensers for $44 (!?)

So, I am basically thinking no way. Overpriced scam!

…Until I open the packet and see what she’s drawn. It’s pretty good! And I ask her, “Tell me about your picture.”

Here’s what she said, “They said to draw something, and I thought mmmmm, I think I will draw my mommy and my baby because I love them.”

HEART MELT! I immediately begin calculating how much it would cost to get the ceramic trivet, tote bag, notebook and coasters.

Then I said, “Well, honey, this is so pretty! Is that me in the middle?”
“Yes, and that’s Ellie.”
“Well, that is so sweet. And who is this?”
“That’s just somebody.” Pauses… “I guess it’s daddy.”

So basically she was in on the scam the whole time. Daddy wouldn’t have bought the stuff anyway.

One of my biggest inspirations is travel. I love seeing new things, different things, things that are ordinary, out of the ordinary, complex, or just simply beautiful. Here is a collection of photos I took at the Notting Hill market this summer in London.

Let me start by saying this book was written over FIFTY YEARS ago and it couldn’t be more relevant to today’s mothers if it had been written fifty days ago.

It is a compilation of meditations by Anne Morrow Lindbergh. Before the book, I had only known her for being the mother of the kidnapped Lindbergh baby. Turns out, she had five children, was the first woman to earn a glider-pilot’s license and won an award from National Geographic and was a bestselling author.

But wait. This isn’t a ‘you can do it too!’ motivational book. Anne Lindbergh was also plagued by doubt, felt overwhelmed, and struggled to maintain a balance between her outside world and her inner peace.

Within 10 pages I was absolutely blown away by the truths she exposed, one that is especially relevant to moms in marketing:
“Woman’s normal occupations in general run counter to the creative life, or contemplative life, or saintly life…. [the problem] is more basically: how to remain whole in the midst of the distractions of life; how to remain balanced, no matter what centrifugal forces tend to pull one of center; how to remain strong, no matter what shocks come in at the periphery…”

Something to make you smile:
In the book she talks about her ‘Martha tendencies’ for having to keep the house clean. While of course she was referring to the Martha in the bible, I find it quite hilarious that modern women are comparing themselves to yet another Martha!

Summary of why you should read it:
•    It was initially recommended to me by a fellow MIM, and she knows good books.
•    It is a soothing, calming read.
•    It has short chapters, so you can sneak in reading 10 or 15 pages at a time.
•    It will make you feel good.

Guru of Steve Adams Studio and author of Notes from the W.G.

Last day of summer.  Everyone grab your kaleidoscope and shake.

You’re watching Mad Men, right?  The character I relate to the most is Sally, the Drapers’ ten year old daughter.  That was my perspective in the late fifties, early sixties.  Thankfully, my mom was a lot warmer than Betty.  As a ten-year-old, I really thought my options for a career were nurse, teacher or secretary.  My artistic bent lent itself to drawing on reams and reams of outdated stationery that my dad brought home from the office, but I wasn’t thinking “how can I make a living doing this?”

In the late sixties, everything went boingo.  Gloria Steinem, Betty Friedan, the pill, and Title IX meant that the world was busted wide open for me and women coming after.  Coming from a family that had attorneys going back three generations, I stepped in line and went to law school.

A career switch to managing a photo studio after having kids left me striking that balance between work and family, which is a never-ending walk on the tight rope.  And the funny part is, just when you think “OK – the kids are launched” they come boomeranging back into the picture, having lost the roommate in the apartment, or signing on for grad school.  And then your parents, the ones who were the rock during all those early years, are slowly but surely requiring a lot of time, attention and care.

So there you find yourself on the bridge, looking back at all the frantic early years of building a business, scheduling orthodontia appointments, figuring out the craft project for the Brownie troop, soliciting ads for the school Buzz Book, etc. and looking forward to more of the same, except there’s been a twist to the kaleidoscope of your life and it all looks just a little bit different.  Same colors but different shapes.

Enjoy every moment, ladies, because it all starts whizzing by at warp speed the farther down the road you get.